Her Eyes
by cityofduchannes
Summary: Gail's a fighter. She can do it. Holly just needs to see her eyes.
1. Chapter 1

Her eyes. Those were the first thing Holly noticed about Gail. Aside from the biting comments, as soon as she turned around that's all Holly could see. She's sure she's never seen eyes like that, hell, she's sure there AREN'T eyes like that anywhere else. She knows it's a cliché, but they really are so BLUE. She knows she could get lost in those eyes, those eyes could start a war, no, those eyes could END a war.

There's so much emotion in there, the first time Holly saw them she was willing to bet the mind behind them didn't let the face show much of that emotion. She's since learned the truth, the mind behind only lets the face show the emotion when it's sure the person on the other side won't run away.

Holly winces as she remembers the last time she and Gail spoke. Gail's eyes sure were portraying all the emotion then. She had been staring stonily at Holly, her mouth set in a thin line, arms crossed, and eyes shining. Holly could tell just by looking in those beautiful, BEAUTIFUL eyes that they didn't want to be hearing what Holly was telling them, that Gail wanted everything to be okay again, and a few months ago Gail would have told Holly just that. But the last time they spoke, just two nights ago, everything had changed. She was closed off again, ready to say no, ready to let Holly leave.

Holly doesn't even remember how they got to that point, how they got to being so far away from each other. She only remembers two nights ago and the rift in her heart it caused. She didn't want to make Gail think she was breaking up with her, she hadn't meant for it to come out like that, she had just wanted to talk. She just wanted to try and make Gail see that it's hard to be with a cop, a fact Holly knows Gail has been working on, but Holly also knows Gail still finds it hard to empathise completely, to really understand.

So it's her eyes Holly focuses on, the eyes that bring so much joy to her life. Gail's eyes really are the windows to her soul. She really does bare everything there. And Holly would give anything to have them open again.

_***44 HOURS AGO***_

"Gail just listen to me please!"

"I don't think there's much to listen to really, Holly." Gail continues packing her things into a duffel and swings it over her shoulder as she pushes past an almost hysterical Holly in the doorway.

"Gail please! I'm trying to explain to you!" She tries pulling the bag from Gail's shoulder as the tears stream down her cheeks. "I love you so much!"

Gail's mouth twitches at this, almost into a smirk as she steps out of the door and faces Holly. "Well it doesn't look like that's enough for you."

Holly's mouth opens to reply but in the moment of hesitation Gail slammed the door and was gone.

_***36 HOURS AGO***_

Holly is roused from her daze by the sound of the phone ringing. She doesn't know who'd be calling at this hour, but she does know she won't be answering the phone. It's been an awful enough night already, she needs to sleep and she can deal with it in the morning. Whoever is calling is persistent though, as soon as the ringer dies, it starts up again. With a groan Holly reaches down from the couch to where her phone fell out of her pocket when she curled up yesterday and refused to move. She looks at the name on the screen and her stomach turns when she sees Steve's name there. A part of her considers not answering, but that small part is quickly quashed by the rest of her.

"Hello?"

"Holly thank god, okay everything's fine, it's all going to be okay." So far Steve is doing nothing to stop the pounding of Holly's heart.

"Steve what's going on?" Instinct makes Holly grab her keys and leave the apartment, keeping Steve on the phone as she runs to the garage.

"Holly are you at home? I want you to stay right there, Traci's coming to get you, okay?" There's a catch in Steve's voice and Holly knows something is terribly wrong.

"STEVE!"

"Holly, Gail's in the hospital. We don't know what's going to happen or what really did happen yet. All we know is that you need to be here, okay?" Holly presses the button for the ground floor instead of the garage.

"Steve when did she get there? How did she get there? Was she conscious? Is she in surgery? What about-" "Holly." Steve interjects Holly's interrogation to tell her he really doesn't know anything yet, it wasn't long ago she was admitted though.

"Okay, okay, when did Traci leave?"

"Right after I tried calling you, she should be close, she's at _" Holly does the math in her head whilst trying to remember if she knows any of the surgeons there.

"Okay I just-"

"Holly, hey!" Holly looks up to see Traci leaning out of her car window, motioning for Holly to get in.

"Okay Steve she's here."

"In a bit."

Holly climbs into the car and Traci puts on the lights with a conspiratorial look to Holly.

"Did you see her?"

"I'm afraid not, but I know her rookie was involved and he's awake now, so let's hope okay?" she glances across to Holly and gives her a small smile.

Holly nods and the rest of the journey passes by in a blur until she enters the waiting room and notices it full of uniforms, some she doesn't know, but mostly familiar faces. Everyone turns to Holly and she notices them all try to put on a brave face or just fall apart even more at the sight of her. Suddenly she's enveloped by a man and it takes her a moment to realise its Steve who ran over to give her the enormous hug. He pulls away to smile at Traci and Holly notices his eyes are bloodshot. She raises her eyebrows and bites her lip but he shakes his head slightly and that's all it takes for Holly to fall apart. Her legs go out from underneath her and she finds a swarm of arms wrapping around her to keep her upright.

"Someone get this woman a chair!" Holly hears someone shout to the crowd before she realises it was Frank. She allows herself a small smile in thanks as she's lowered down into it.

"Please. Someone tell me what happened."

It's then Holly notices McNally wheeling a young looking man over, his left arm and leg in a cast and his face, well Holly wouldn't have been able to recognise him even if she did know him.

"Hi, I'm Dan, Gail's rookie."

"Where you, where you there? What happened?" Holly pleads.

"I was waiting until you got here, I'd heard Officer Peck actually had someone so," Holly appreciates him trying to make a joke, but all she really wants is information right now. "We've been working on this big gang recently and I went over on a tip to what I thought was just going to be a small drug trafficking group. Only when I got there, I found a LOT more than drugs. I was about to call it in when someone found me. I don't really remember much more, they really tried beating the life from me. I just remember someone coming in to save me. I guess it must have been Gail."

"Of course, she had to play the hero." Holly almost laughs, before asking everyone if it's okay if she just sits alone for a while. It's another hour at least before Frank tells everyone that they have to leave, considering shift would be starting in a few hours. From nowhere, an orderly brings some blankets (obviously the hospital is used to police here, Holly thinks) and Holly settles in for the night.

At almost 4am the surgeon operating on Gail entered the waiting room, removing his scrub cap and asked for immediate family only. Holly had been in the process of sitting back down again when Steve pulled her by arm over to the doctor.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Micheals. I'll cut right to it, she doesn't look good. She suffered intense internal haemorrhaging, but we managed to keep it down to a minimum, and we've packed her out. All we can do for now is wait." All Holly caught from him was '_she doesn't look good', _the phrase circling around and around in her head. The doctor nodded to them and made to leave.

"Wait! Doctor, when can we see her?" Dr Micheals sighed, used to being asked this question by overeager family members.

"I'd rather she didn't have any visitors for now-" Holly sucks in a sharp breath "But, I can make an exception as long as she isn't disturbed, okay? Just one." The doctor had hardly finished speaking before Steve volunteered Holly to be Gail's visitor, and she remembers how Nick had done the same with Andy for Sam just last fall. She really hopes Gail fares better than Sam did, though. He's still in physio, much longer than the average patient.

She glances back to the waiting room full of Gail's closest friends, no, family. 15 Division, Gail's family. It makes Holly smile to see so many people waiting on Gail, wanting to know how she is. Holly wishes Gail could be here to see it, to see how many people love her. It's a sight Holly's committing to memory, one she'll retell to Gail in exact detail as soon as she wakes. As soon as she wakes. It'll all be okay. Gail's a fighter. She can do it. Holly just needs to see her eyes, they'll tell her the truth. Her eyes.

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**Hello everyone, I hope you like this lil adventure of my OTP.**

**Idk if I'll carry this on or not idk**

**Please leave comments and Italian food below xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

**So remember that time when I said I wouldn't be carrying this on? Well, uh, whoops. I'd like to properly thanks olivershaws over on tumblr and all of your responses to this for making me continue. I love you. Really.**

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She glances up for a moment, only to see the clock hasn't moved since the last time she looked at it. Holly debates trying to sleep again, but she knows it's futile in these awful plastic hospital chairs and so instead opts for pacing the room.

It's been 4 days since the doctor said Gail was finally stable enough for Holly to stay in there, and it's been 3 since Holly ran out of tears to cry.

****_(5 days ago)_****

"Holly, it has to be you. We'll all be here for her. Go." Steve nods towards Holly, letting her know he means it, and so she follows the doctor quickly, only taking a small glance back at the sea of officers waiting for just one.

The doctor stops outside a room and it takes Holly a moment to realise he's talking to her.

"-so the injuries weren't too serious in the long run, but her body may take a few days to wake up. I can assure you it's nothing to worry about if she's still asleep in a week, okay?" Holly sees the warmth in the doctor's eyes and knows he'll be taking good care of Gail, so she just nods and he leads her into the room.

It's all Holly can do to not collapse at the sight of Gail lying in a hospital bed, tubes going into her at every inch, machines beeping constantly. Holly did a rotation in the ER during med school but nothing she saw there could have prepared her for the sight of her love unconscious, helpless. She thanks the doctor and asks to be alone for a while. The doctor agrees and Holly falls against the wall, sliding down to the floor, crying. The day has been too much, too soon.

The time blurs by. Holly never imagined being one of those people. One of those people who don't know what to do without their other half. One of those people who _can't breathe _without their _world._ One of those people who even had one of those people. But this is where she has ended up. This is what she has become. She's in way too deep with this girl. But the thing is, Holly doesn't mind. For a girl who didn't learn to swim until she was 19, she's doing awfully well at keeping her head above the water. Each day starts with Holly waking up from the extra bed the staff brought in, calling Lena at work, begging for her to cover her, just one more day, just one more day and she'll be back, promise. Then it's punctuated with Gail's tests, her heartbeat, occasional stirring, before reaching the inevitable denouement; Gail is still unconscious. Holly's a doctor, she's not an idiot, she knows about medicine and medical issues, why can't she calm down? When Gail sprained her ankle last month, Holly was cool as a cucumber, so to speak, not flustered at all, so why now?

Of course, she realises; it's the life of the love of her life on the line.

It's a stirring underneath her hand that makes Holly realise she's sat back down, let alone fallen asleep with her head on Gail's lap again. Holly knows enough about comatose patients (now even more so than she did 4 days ago) to figure that Gail is probably dreaming of being out on the job and that's why she's moving occasionally. It's a good sign, the books told her, it at least means her body is able to move and that her brain can still make those connections. But none of this will truly settle Holly's heart. Looking again towards the clock, Holly groans at the time. "Gail, honey it's way too early to be waking up, let me go to sleep and then we'll talk."

It's as soon as she lays her head back down, and it's so quiet she doesn't know if she imagined it.

"Well it'll be the one and only time, so you'd better get used to it."

Holly's jaw drops, and she reflexively hits the button to call for the nurse (god knows she's done it so many times before, just at a slight peak in Gail's heart rate, it's a wonder she's a doctor at all) and just stares, wide-eyed at this fighter. To their credit, it takes the nurses only 5 seconds to rush in to the room, and even they have trouble keeping their mouths closed when they see Gail awake.

"Well is anyone going to-" Gail starts.

"Nope, stop talking, we need to check you over, this is so fast, are you in pain? Maybe the morphine wore off?" The youngest nurse, probably an intern, babbles away and it's at this moment that Gail finally flicks her gaze across to meet Holly's.

There they are, those beautiful, _beautiful_ eyes.

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**DISCLAIMER I DO NOT KNOW A SINGLE THING ABOUT MEDICINE EXCEPT NOT TO TAKE IBUPROFEN ON AN EMPTY STOMACH so don't take my word on anything**

**And im aware she wouldnt be saying that much **

**But it flowed**

**So**

**also this one is a lil shorter but i couldnt get anything else out**

**Leave the usual below, thanks x**


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